Only now do I realize what an evil lot you are. We've had a few printable suggestions for new looks. The first comes from Stephen and Mike, who want a "Ming the Merciless" growth. This idea has been accepted and the project is in the all important growth phase. This has now been done.

Even eviler is Angela's suggestion of Victorian Mutton chops, you know the massive sideburns that take up half your face - just how stupid do you want me to look? Don't answer that. This has now been done.

Euan would like a handlebar moustache. Have you any idea how long one of those things takes to grow and how much the wax will cost me? Garrett, however would just like me shave my hair off for his amusement.

Tom has asked me to grow thin "the artist formally known as Prince" sideburns. Jack a mustache that can be waxed ala Hercule Poirot. Trish, I think, has the prize for the most ludicrous suggestion. She has asked me to grow Blooto - which is where long hair and beard are matted together to achieve a lion mane effect. I'm sorry Trish this just isn't going to happen.